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Benefits of growing Old

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#1
  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
  • It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building.
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  • You can live without *** but not without your glasses.
  • You can't remember the time you last laid on the floor to watch television.
  • You got cable for the weather channel.
  • You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
  • You sing along with the elevator music.
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  • You talk about good grass and you're referring to someone's lawn.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember either.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • People send you this list . . .
Regards,
Dave
 
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