Benefits of growing Old

[admin]

• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• No one expects you to run into a burning building.
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• You can live without *** but not without your glasses.
• You can't remember the time you last laid on the floor to watch television.
• You got cable for the weather channel.
• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
• You sing along with the elevator music.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You talk about good grass and you're referring to someone's lawn.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember either.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
• People send you this list . . .

Regards,
Dave

 

[sterico]

Hi Dave,
Very amusing indeed, when I finished reading it, and had a good laugh, I just had to respond to it. All I can say is wait til you get to 60+ dave lol
Best regards Sterico

 

[darkcrystal]

gawd.... so much of that is true... and i'm not even 45!!!! lol

 

[lizanne]

It's all true.:biggrin: No birthday for me this year, I can't afford to get any older.:biggrin:

 

[pejay]

think I will forget birthdays too for quite a while.

 

[Ellie]

:biggrin: Very funny

 

[p.risboy]

As a Man........

You can't see over your belly, to see if your shoes are clean.

You can feel the rush of air through you hair, when using on an escalator.

You can use a hairbrush instead of a comb.

You can put you false teeth on your dinner plate to eat, while you do family research.

The dust on your shoulders mingles with your dandruff.

Your pension goes further than you do.

You trade in your pushbike, for a woman's model.

You need a ladle, to get everything in your underpants.

Your furniture is trendy again and again and again.

A binge drink, is a large mug of coa-coa.

You forget to remember, what you thought you had forgotten, to remember to think about, what you had thought before you forgot.

Your toilet becomes your lounge.

Your lounge becomes your toilet.

A fart is the only thing you can pass in your car.

You forget what you have written,

As a Man...................



Steve. :biggrin:

 

[joyceawood17]

as I hit the big 50 this last summer, I desided that this is also my last birthday so I won't be getting any older> , ps steve I don't want to know as a woman:biggrin: Joyce

 

[p.risboy]

as I hit the big 50 this last summer, I desided that this is also my last birthday so I won't be getting any older> , ps steve I don't want to know as a woman:biggrin: Joyce

No, Joyce. I have no death wish. But I will leave it up to you as a woman to do .......As a woman.

I'm not that brave. My wife would kill me.

Steve.:biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[gwenythgreen]

No, Joyce. I have no death wish. But I will leave it up to you as a woman to do .......As a woman.

I'm not that brave. My wife would kill me.

Steve.:biggrin: :biggrin:

Hi All

What you should say that as a woman treated carefully by you men like a fine wine we will mature beautifully.

Gwen

 

[p.risboy]

But as we all know, some wine is "corked".

Oh crap, what have I said.

Steve.:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[juliejtp]

That holes getting bigger Steve. :2fun:

 

[p.risboy]

Already in the hole, just waiting to be buried.:'( :'(

 

[gwenythgreen]

Already in the hole, just waiting to be buried.:'( :'(

Hi Steve

Don't cry into your tea. I was only jesting … even some men can improve with age .

Gwen

 

[p.risboy]

Hi Steve

Don't cry into your tea. I was only jesting … even some men can improve with age .

Gwen

How did you know I was drinking tea, halfway down a cup.
What do you mean 'some men'. :biggrin: :biggrin:

I always quit when I'm behind.:biggrin: :biggrin:

Steve.

 

[JMR]

I always think that the best part of growing old is that you didn't die sooner!

 

[p.risboy]

I always think that the best part of growing old is that you didn't die sooner!

:2fun: :2fun: :2fun: :2fun: :2fun: :2fun: :2fun: :2fun:

 

[Littlemo]

Hi Everybody,
I"ve just had a real good laugh at the posts & some of the Comments are so true ! it"s Scarey!
Mind you my kids have thought I"ve been Batty for years so the detereoration is not as noticable.
When L went to the Town Hall for mu Bus Pass I told the girl I didn"t know whether to be Chuffed to have actually reached 60 after my wild life of Wine Men & Song (I wish)or to feel totally suicidal as I was an official OAP. Anyway by the time I got home I"d forgotten which was which!
Happy huting All
Luv Mo xx

 

[joyceawood17]

Hi All

What you should say that as a woman treated carefully by you men like a fine wine we will mature beautifully.

Gwen

Now Gwen I like that:kissu: Joyce

 

[p.risboy]

Now Gwen I like that:kissu: Joyce

So Gwen. On that basis, women lay down most of their lives, until stirred into action by a man popping their cork.

As Shirley Bassey sang,
" ....I don't pop my cork for every man I see.
Hey Big spender, spend a little time with me".

Steve.:biggrin: :2fun: