Doctor Doctor

[juliejtp]

A boy called the doctor..
"Doctor, doctor come quick, my younger brother has just swallowed my pen."
"I'll be right over - what are you doing in the meantime?"
"I'm using a pencil..."


Doctor, doctor, these pills you gave me for BO are no use.
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping from under my arms.


Doctor, Doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why is that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor: Face the window, would you? Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: But - Why am I facing the window?
Doctor: Because I don't like the man next door.

 

[leefer]

Man walks into the bar and says OUCH!

A white horse walks into a bar,the barman says blimey we have a whiskey named after you and the horse says in that case ile have a Dobbin please.

The hunchback of Notre Dam walks into a bar,ile have a whiskey he says to the barman..Bells ok says the barman...mind your own bleeding buisness says the hunchback.

 

[benny1982]

Doctor, Doctor I have a spoon in my mouth
He said "Well sit down and dont stir".

Doctor Doctor I have a lettuce stuck in my head.
"Oh well that is the tip of the iceberg"

 

[p.risboy]

Patient- Doctor, Doctor I hurt all over.

Doctor- Where does it hurt, point with your finger.

Patient- Here, ouch !, here, ouch! here, ouch! here, ouch!, here, ouch!, here, ouch!, here, ouch!, here, ouch! and here, OUCH !!!

Doctor- Just as I suspected.

Patient- What is it.?

Doctor- You have a broken finger.

Steve.

 

[juliejtp]

What about some knock knock jokes?

 

[juliejtp]

Doctor, doctor, I've broken my leg. What shall I do?
Limp.

 

[benny1982]

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Me

 

[benny1982]

Doctor doctor I have a snooker addiction.
Well get to the back of the cue.

PATIENT Doctor doctor I am worried.
DOC Whats up pussycat then?
PATIENT I have a touch of the green green grass delilah.
DOC You have Tom Jones syndrome?
PATIENT Is it common then?
DOC It is not unusual.