Funny Christmas jokes, riddles and one liners.

[stevegraham85]

How was your Christmas meal?
We had Grandma for Xmas

Really? we had turkey.

 

[stevegraham85]

What did the Reindeer say before launching into his Xmas comedy routine?

This will sleigh you

 

[stevegraham85]

Anyone who believes that men are equal to woman has never seen a man trying to wrap a xmas present!:biggrin:

 

[stevegraham85]

Romeo: What would it take to get you to kiss me under the mistletoe?

Juliette: An anasthetic.

 

[p.risboy]

Mrs.Santa Claus....'Is that snow outside I hear, my dear'.

Mr.Santa Claus......'No love, It's rain dear.'

 

[benny1982]

What do you get a railway driver for Christmas?
Platform shoes.

 

[p.risboy]

He screamed and yelled, but it did no good.
Santa's stuck in the chimney......too much pud.

 

[stevegraham85]

Bert, aged25. my Wifes an angel'.

Don, aged 57. your lucky, mine is still alive'.

 

[p.risboy]

Q.-If Christmas is for kids, what's left for me.?

A. - An overdraft.!!

 

[leefer]

How do you know who is a tightwad at Xmas

Theres a parking meter on the chimney.

 

[stevegraham85]

What does Santa call reindeer that don't work, dinner!:biggrin:

 

[gibbo]

What does Santa call reindeer that don't work, dinner!:biggrin:

:2fun::2fun::2fun:

 

[gibbo]

How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?

Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

 

[p.risboy]

What do you call a Deer with no eyes.?

No idea.!!

 

[leefer]

What goes oh oh oh

Santa walking backwards

 

[p.risboy]

We had stuffed Turkey for Christmas last year.

I wonder what the wife, is going stuff up this year.

 

[leefer]

What did Adam say the day before Christmas

Its Christmas Eve.

 

[DaveHam9]

His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

 

[DaveHam9]

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

 

[stevegraham85]

Xmas time: the time of the year when everyone gets Santamental.>