Funny Christmas jokes, riddles and one liners.

[stevegraham85]

Father Christmas calls:


Alex was five:all his Christmas presents were always signed, from Father Christmas'.

A little while after Alex had opened his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking down in the mouth fr no obvious reason.

What's the Matter, Al?' I asked.

'Ummmmm, "I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas.'

 

[stevegraham85]

Christmas Turkey.

It was Christmas eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining Turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation he called over a shop asistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do one of these turkeys get any bigger?'

'No madam, he replied, they're all dead.'

 

[stevegraham85]

Dear Santa,

If you leave a new bike under the tree, i will give you the antidote for that poison that i put in the milk that you drank.

 

[stevegraham85]

How many chefs does it take to stuff a turkey?

Only one, but you really have to squeeze to get him in.

 

[DaveHam9]

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.