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Gay Ancestors

sue ault

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Boston, Lincs
#1
Hi all,
For a year or two I have been conversing with another researcher on a mutal family ancestral name. He has just realised my other half is also female and yes he has decided he can no longer share or except infomation from me.
We all research our family history with the empthasis on family, but no one takes into consideration one if not some of our ancestors may have been gay.
Taking into account there has also been single parent families for years, and thankfully to be born out of wedlock now doesnt hold the social stigma as it did in the past. Families are made up differently now and yes it maybe harder for future generations to find their ancestors.
I have hetrosexaul married friends who really dont wish to fill in any new census, they feel its another way the goverment has personal info on them. I on the other hand have no problem puting all my info on a census including my sexualality which i am not ashamed of.
I am no different from any other researcher and feel a little hurt but i have to respect his point of view, which in this case wasnt mutal.
sorry if i have gone on but i have never had this happen to me where family history is concerned. :'(
 

leefer

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swindon wilts
#3
Hi Sue......bigots and selfish.

Is it really worth getting yourself het up over people like this.....there are plenty of places and people who will give the imformation you need if it is in the public domain.
There really are some pathetic people about isn't there.
Keep up your research and i for one will always be interested in your family history......your bus driver relly? was an interesting story i remember.

All the best.........Lee.
 

DeniseJD

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#4
I'd say that was ridiculous and you are better off not sharing any information with the person. No need for such thoughts to be involved in any hobby, how on earth can it impact? :(
 

susanwillis59

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#5
unfortunatly some people are still living in the dark ages, even though we are in the 21st century, as a mother of 2 sons with a learning difficulty :fragile X syndrome: i can empathise with you. But all we can hope for is that as the generations move forward, that those bias attitudes get left behind in those dark ages were they belong, we are going through massive social changes in this country, hope im around to see them. sue:):)
 

p.risboy

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In Ireland, but born Bucks.
#8
Hi Sue.

Shame you didn't know what sort of person they were before you shared FH info with them. Obviously not a caring human being.:mad:

Their loss, and you've always got us to help you.:kissu:;)

Steve.:)
 

joaning

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South Aust.
#9
Hi Sue, I think people are entitled to have their different opinions.
They don't have to agree,it's ok.
But they don't have to be "phobic", and treat you like that.
You can have such pleasure, and meet many nice people while doing your family history, that those people don't really matter. You will still get your information,from other people.
There have been gay ancestors in family trees for thousands of years.

Cheers Joan:)
 
Last edited:

duckweed

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Sheffield
#10
I don't know what to say. I cannot understand why your lifestyle should be for anyone to comment on and tell you how to live your life, or why they think they have the right to.

The problem of looking for Gay Ancestors is that they are not likely to have made it public since if they were found out they would be hanged.

I've found one gay ancestor in my husbands tree only because he was on trial for "unspeakable crimes" and was put to death.

Thankfully we have moved on from that and hopefully the bigots will disapear too.
 

JMR

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#11
Hi Sue,

I think you bring up a really good point about gay ancestors. We have an instance in our Wells family line where one of our Wells males, Albert, married a woman who ended up quite notorious in the USA.

She had a child that was not her husband's, but he accepted it as his own. She later strayed again and had another child, but this time the marriage ended in divorce. The woman remarried and had a further children. One day someone called around to their homestead to find her going about her days work as normal, but she had killed the husband and 5 children.

There was quite a comprehensive psychiatric report that my cousin managed to have released to her with very detailed documentation of the interview conducted when she was arrested. When asked why she killed her children she simply replied that it was to save them from growing up in such an evil world. It was the information contained in the file about her first marriage to Albert though that gave us insight into his sexuality. She said that he was never interested in having a physical relationship with her.

We put that information together with family stories about his poor relationship with his Father, who he felt bullied him his whole life, (the other siblings reported him to be an affectionate, although sometimes grumpy) and hypothesised that he could have been gay. It would have been totally unacceptable to a Yorkshire man born in the mid 1800s, to contemplate having a gay son and I suppose he would have spent a lot of time trying to "toughen" him up. My cousin and I felt that Albert would have had a miserable life, he even tried to enlist in the US army, but was rejected. He was accepted into the Canadian army and fought in WW1. He never remarried.

In terms of your own experience, it must have been a shock to be treated like that, but it's entirely his issue and his loss and we all appreciate your great input into this forum.

Cheers,
Jill
 

sue ault

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Boston, Lincs
#12
Many thanks for all your kind replies,
This is why I love this Forum for all the help given to me and other researchers who have and will continue to struggle at times. I have put it all behind me now and have started my mothers family tree scrap book come photo album. I went into a smashing craft shop yesterday and it gave me some great ideas on how to enhance photos and infomation i have obtained. I am going to spend many hours putting it all together, which will be a labour of love where i am concerned. Silly i know but it swings my boat sticking bits of memorobelia together with the many photos i have aquired, its a bit like blue peter to my thoughts.
I am probally the only one interested in it all and can only hope one day, my sons and grandchildren will be.

:) :D :kissu: :biggrin: :rolleyes:

Sue x
 

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