Granny Burgess Pt.2 - "The Dark Side".

[p.risboy]

Granny's husband, as I briefly mentioned in 'Granny Burgess', was not the most pleasant of men according to my Mum and sister.
I never really knew him as he died when I was four. And in some ways I am glad.

He was apparently physically and mentally abusive to my Granny and some of the children. This did actually show up in some of the photo's that I possess of her.
The before death and after death pictures tell their own tale.

The older photo's show an image of a downtrodden women. Unkempt hair dark eyes and a fixed stare, unsmiling face.
The pictures after her husband died show a different story. Immaculate, smart, and joy in an ageing face.
I remember asking my mother what Grandad Burgess was like as a father to her, and as a man generally. And she told me pretty much the man that I have described.
My Mum's final comment on my Granny and Grandad took me a bit by surprise.

After grandads cremation, and when the ashes were buried, Granny spat on his remains and cursed him. He wanted to be buried, but gran had him cremated, "to make sure he was dead, and wouldn't come back".
I think all her hatred died with him, for all the abuse he gave her.
And my Aunt Dolly at his wake, toasted "good riddance you old bu**er".

My Mum never spoke of him again.

So I'm sort of glad that I never got to meet him.

Steve.

 

[benny1982]

Hi

What a sad and moving story. Your gran must have been a true survivor and to do that at his cremation must have taken some doing.

Ben

 

[stevegraham85]

Granny's husband, as I briefly mentioned in 'Granny Burgess', was not the most pleasant of men according to my Mum and sister.
I never really knew him as he died when I was four. And in some ways I am glad.

He was apparently physically and mentally abusive to my Granny and some of the children. This did actually show up in some of the photo's that I possess of her.
The before death and after death pictures tell their own tale.

The older photo's show an image of a downtrodden women. Unkempt hair dark eyes and a fixed stare, unsmiling face.
The pictures after her husband died show a different story. Immaculate, smart, and joy in an ageing face.
I remember asking my mother what Grandad Burgess was like as a father to her, and as a man generally. And she told me pretty much the man that I have described.
My Mum's final comment on my Granny and Grandad took me a bit by surprise.

After grandads cremation, and when the ashes were buried, Granny spat on his remains and cursed him. He wanted to be buried, but gran had him cremated, "to make sure he was dead, and wouldn't come back".
I think all her hatred died with him, for all the abuse he gave her.
And my Aunt Dolly at his wake, toasted "good riddance you old bu**er".

My Mum never spoke of him again.

So I'm sort of glad that I never got to meet him.

Steve.

That sounds very sad Steve.

 

[leefer]

Hi Steve....have learnt of a similar tale since meeting my mothers family.

Hetty Halke...who Gortonboy helped me with finding details,along with you and a few others married my grandad a Hardiman.....by all accounts a real tough cookie....dont know all the story but suffice to say i think poor old Hettie(my nan)didnt have it easy...he was an Engine driver in Salisbury but before that worked on a farm.

I met my Nannie Hardiman..nee Halke three months before she passed away.
By a strange stroke of fate i met my Nannie Ferris..nee Barfoot three months before she passed away.

Got to say both days were very special to me...i am glad ol ma Burgess found a little solice in the end Steve

 

[stevegraham85]

Granny's husband, as I briefly mentioned in 'Granny Burgess', was not the most pleasant of men according to my Mum and sister.
I never really knew him as he died when I was four. And in some ways I am glad.

He was apparently physically and mentally abusive to my Granny and some of the children. This did actually show up in some of the photo's that I possess of her.
The before death and after death pictures tell their own tale.

The older photo's show an image of a downtrodden women. Unkempt hair dark eyes and a fixed stare, unsmiling face.
The pictures after her husband died show a different story. Immaculate, smart, and joy in an ageing face.
I remember asking my mother what Grandad Burgess was like as a father to her, and as a man generally. And she told me pretty much the man that I have described.
My Mum's final comment on my Granny and Grandad took me a bit by surprise.

After grandads cremation, and when the ashes were buried, Granny spat on his remains and cursed him. He wanted to be buried, but gran had him cremated, "to make sure he was dead, and wouldn't come back".
I think all her hatred died with him, for all the abuse he gave her.
And my Aunt Dolly at his wake, toasted "good riddance you old bu**er".

My Mum never spoke of him again.

So I'm sort of glad that I never got to meet him.

Steve.

I only just realised that's my Great Aunt your taking about, Mary Ann Graham.

I'm glad she got some revenge, the rest of her family mus'nt have known about her poor treatment or they would have helped her.

Oz Steve

 

[sparklingtechie]

He sounds a lot like my ex hubbie, it's a shame there was such a stigma about divorce then and no financial help for abused spouses and their children. Why keep the photos of him though?

 

[p.risboy]

He sounds a lot like my ex hubbie, it's a shame there was such a stigma about divorce then and no financial help for abused spouses and their children. Why keep the photos of him though?

Who knows why the photo's were kept of him.
One photo is of a family group with my Grannies mother and siblings and cousins.
One of my Mum on her wedding day, and one of him on a works outing.

So that's 3 out of many more......say's it all really.

Steve.

 

[leefer]

He sounds a lot like my ex hubbie, it's a shame there was such a stigma about divorce then and no financial help for abused spouses and their children. Why keep the photos of him though?

Why have we kept photos of Hitler:biggrin:

One persons nutjob is usually another persons loved one...........but i know the point you are trying to make.

As i said my Grandad was no saint by all accounts....but still like to see photos of him....only seen one.