Grave/Burial name confusion..please help!

[ISHA1930]

Hi all,

I am new to this website, so forgive me if Im in the wrong place or asking an obvious question!
I'll make it simple...

I attempting to find my grandmothers grave and headstone. I know the cemetery and plot etc all online, however it appears to be under her husbands name....not hers. I havent seen the actual grave, so just going by records. He never died for many years later and was cremated.

What could this mean?
could it be that is under his name as he paid for it? Or that there is no named headstone?

Im wanting to take my elderly father to see it, as his mum died when he was a child, and he has never seen it before. But I dont want to go all that way, when in fact there is no headstone, or struggle to find the actually grave.

Any help on this matter, will be gratefully received!

 

[davelambert271]

If you have the name of the cemetery plot no etc, why not email them with your question. They may well be able to help

dave

 

[ISHA1930]

Hi Dave,

Appreciate the response.

i have emailed them, and they confirm only the details that I have found online. I have just replied asking if it was possible for the grave to be recorded/listed under my grandfathers name....maybe as there was no headstone etc.....just waiting for a reply. So frustrating. My dad is 82, with Parkinsons and Dementia....he has never visited his mothers grave as she died when he was 6/7 years old. I know he would deeply appreciate going to view it.

All I really know is that she was buried in East London, dad reckons West Ham cemetery, which is the one I am communicating with....the one where her name is not on the records!!

 

[davelambert271]

from reading google hits for buying a grave, each cemetery has its own regulations, and time period, but it seems that anyone over 18 can purchase a plot, in which they have control over who is buried there. So I understand your G.F bought a plot, in which he would have the say of who was buried there. At the end of the purchase period, he would have to renew the purchase or the control reverts to the council.

http://www.eolfhs.org.uk/news/files/d90da56a912d4655e2c3aa2637a407ab-281.php

 

[ISHA1930]

Do you think this would indicate that her name is not on a headstone (if there is one)?
I agree with you on this, however I would've thought the cemetery admin etc, would have details that it is actually her that is actually buried there.

 

[davelambert271]

If your G.F paid for a plot, was it a cremation plot and were they both buried there. My wife paid for such a plot to bury her mother's ashes. Later her father's ashes were placed in the same plot. Headstones were not permitted but a porcelain flower vase with their names below was allowed.

As you say, you would think there would be a record of who is buried in either case

dave

 

[ISHA1930]

As far as I am to believe, my GF was definitely buried....and grandfather was cremated elsewhere. (Lewisham).

Ive just re read the email I received from the Cemetery, I think there is 3 people as registered as being buried in the same plot.......they are not relatives, albeit have the same name............maybe Ive barked up the wrong tree.

Anyone know how many Cemeteries in East London?!! I keep searching and have email the two I can find.

 

[davelambert271]

this site may help if you have not seen it

http://www.deceasedonline.com/

 

[ISHA1930]

thanks Dave...thats the website I have been using!

Maybe Im following the wrong pathway.... :-(

 

[leefer]

Its a tough one but i would go to the cemetery and find the plot you have details for....i have seen many graves where the details are different to what is the official line.
If it is a big cemetery someone there will take you straight to the spot and you will find out one way or another.

Welcome to the forum and hope one way or another you get the right outcome.

Lee

 

[ladybird]

As far as I am to believe, my GF was definitely buried....and grandfather was cremated elsewhere. (Lewisham).

Ive just re read the email I received from the Cemetery, I think there is 3 people as registered as being buried in the same plot.......they are not relatives, albeit have the same name............maybe Ive barked up the wrong tree.

Anyone know how many Cemeteries in East London?!! I keep searching and have email the two I can find.

I do not know which religion you are looking for, but there is a big Roman Catholic cemetery in Leytonstone East London. There was also Queens Road cemetery in Walthamstow, & there is a site called FInd a Grave.

 

[gibbo]

I wonder if a funeral notice can be found for your grandmother, it might state which cemetery she was buried in.

I have access to some of the The Times newspapers so if your able to post her name and the year she died i could have a look for you on the off chance there is a notice.

 

[Guy]

Hi all,

I am new to this website, so forgive me if Im in the wrong place or asking an obvious question!
I'll make it simple...

I attempting to find my grandmothers grave and headstone. I know the cemetery and plot etc all online, however it appears to be under her husbands name....not hers. I havent seen the actual grave, so just going by records. He never died for many years later and was cremated.

Are you sure you have the correct plot, or are you following a family with a similar name?
Does the address of the plot owner (in the grave register) tie in with your family?
It is often very easy to identify the wrong plot due to similar names.

What could this mean?
could it be that is under his name as he paid for it? Or that there is no named headstone?

Im wanting to take my elderly father to see it, as his mum died when he was a child, and he has never seen it before. But I dont want to go all that way, when in fact there is no headstone, or struggle to find the actually grave.

Any help on this matter, will be gratefully received!

Grave plots are normally identified by either the plot owner or the first buried.
Large number of graves have no headstone or the headstone does not mention every burial contained in the plot.

A name will only appear on a headstone if someone pays to have it carved on the headstone. If there is no one left or they are short of money at the time time there may be no mention of the name.
Cheers
Guy