Taking my lorry for a delivery to Bude last friday..was picking up a load for the Netherlands...lovely day and as i rumbled through the gorgeous Quantocks driving through places that time forgot i felt great..if not tired after a busy week driving mainly round the capital...i parked up just outside Bude for the night as i was picking up the load early sat morning..about 3am.
After a meal of fish n chips i walked to a farmers field and sat on the gate looking at the stars and was ok untill a Fresian sneeked up and mooed...there was nearly a pat on the ground to rival the fresians effort!...how did i know it was fresian..because it had a jumper on and was stood by the fire..anyway got back to the cab...spent half hour trying to get every kind of moth going to evacuate as i had left the window open and the light on..must have looked like a lunatic with my hands flapping around like windmills and shouting at the perishers...finally i dozed off untill my alarm woke me up at 2am,stood on a thistle as i stepped out barefoot to clean my knashers..dropped my toothbrush in a bunch of stinging nettles,i stood there in a trance with big white lips and a mouthfull of toothpaste,a full moon was shining..if anyone had driven by they would have freaked at the sight of me.
Got to the small industrial unit at 3am,ish...and a man with a stoop and a shock of red hair greeted me with the words....Cor blimey driverr,you az eyez like piss oles in the snow....i refrained from answering in Anglo Saxon and told him i was picking up a load for the Nederlands..after what seemed an eternity he come back and said..fink yer must be at thar wrong place drive,aint nuffin eres fer the Nederlands..at this point i told him it had been along week and i was on my way if he didnt look again..he looked again and says yer sure its fer thar ther Nederlands..at this pont ime afraid my answer was mixed with abit of Anglo Saxon..calm down drive he says..no need fer that is thar...come with me..he takes me to goods out and says..look for yourself driver,you can see theres nothing there for the Nederlands..all we az is two palletts fer Ollland!!!!!!!!!!!!...i didnt have the heart to rollock him i started laughing,then he started laughing because i was after explaining to him that Holland was the Netherlands,his mouth opened and said..i knowz that yer silly grockle..wuz just testin yer!...the drive home was pleasant and vehicleless that made it nice...wonder what is in store for me next week.
After a meal of fish n chips i walked to a farmers field and sat on the gate looking at the stars and was ok untill a Fresian sneeked up and mooed...there was nearly a pat on the ground to rival the fresians effort!...how did i know it was fresian..because it had a jumper on and was stood by the fire..anyway got back to the cab...spent half hour trying to get every kind of moth going to evacuate as i had left the window open and the light on..must have looked like a lunatic with my hands flapping around like windmills and shouting at the perishers...finally i dozed off untill my alarm woke me up at 2am,stood on a thistle as i stepped out barefoot to clean my knashers..dropped my toothbrush in a bunch of stinging nettles,i stood there in a trance with big white lips and a mouthfull of toothpaste,a full moon was shining..if anyone had driven by they would have freaked at the sight of me.
Got to the small industrial unit at 3am,ish...and a man with a stoop and a shock of red hair greeted me with the words....Cor blimey driverr,you az eyez like piss oles in the snow....i refrained from answering in Anglo Saxon and told him i was picking up a load for the Nederlands..after what seemed an eternity he come back and said..fink yer must be at thar wrong place drive,aint nuffin eres fer the Nederlands..at this point i told him it had been along week and i was on my way if he didnt look again..he looked again and says yer sure its fer thar ther Nederlands..at this pont ime afraid my answer was mixed with abit of Anglo Saxon..calm down drive he says..no need fer that is thar...come with me..he takes me to goods out and says..look for yourself driver,you can see theres nothing there for the Nederlands..all we az is two palletts fer Ollland!!!!!!!!!!!!...i didnt have the heart to rollock him i started laughing,then he started laughing because i was after explaining to him that Holland was the Netherlands,his mouth opened and said..i knowz that yer silly grockle..wuz just testin yer!...the drive home was pleasant and vehicleless that made it nice...wonder what is in store for me next week.
