Hi Bushy
I may have missed something but I cannot see your problem
1851 Head is Jonathan 35, wife Sarah 36, and children Mary, Henry, Emma, and Ann. Living with them is Jonathan 70 Wid Lodger (no relationship given, but presumed father of head - see 1841).
Mary is the only one I see as a problem as so far I cannot trace her in 1841 to confirn her mothers name. The thought is she was Sarah's child before Sarah married Jonathan
1841 Jonathan 60, Jonathan 20, James 25, If Jonathan is single here, he must have married shortly after this but so far not found.
1861 Jonathan 42 head Sarah 45 wife and children Henry 18, Emma 15, Ann 12, Ellen 9 and Elizabeth 6
dave