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People who spoil good findings/cynics.

benny1982

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#1
Hi

We have had a thread about stroppy archivists but here is a new thread about people who niggle away at other peoples family tree successes.

I suppose you lot have had this as well. Most people agree with other peoples success stories but it is panicking and irritating when some cynical person throws a spanner in your genealogy works by picking holes in your evidence and findings.

They say things like "if that is the case, then why was his name not on the birth cert", or things like that. They even make up things to win the argument such as "that infectious illness would have increased sexual activity". I have never ever heard any link between contageous diseases and increased sexual appetitie. They would have felt like rubbish and be a virtual zombie. Even on the virtually zero possibility of increased libido, the spouse still wouldnt be able to do it as they would be ridiculed with germs, infections and all sorts. The hubby or wife would have had to keep away from them at all costs, no matter what.

I think the odd person is jealous of other peoples successes. Sometimes a success story involves a skeleton in the cupboard like someone having an affair while their wife was dying and producing a baby with the future wife and other people dont want to believe such things which happened all the time when a spouse was dying or seriously ill.

Rant over, most people do agree with others successes but you will always get someone who will niggle away. Its best to ignore them and accept that their arguments are illogical.

Ben
 

AthenaLou

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#2
Hi
i think the best one is my dad's side of the family.....i been trying to family trace my dads side of the family for years with very little success as his father was and still is, a total mystery.......a few years ago one of my aunts was chatting to her daughter (who altho she is my cousin is like a lot lot older than me).......her daughter was disgusted at the fact i was family tracing and told her mother to stop me........her excuse was ..... 'i was trying to open a can of worms!' ' i had no idea how much trouble i would cause by tracing and i must be stopped!'
well theres a few theories to why she said that.....i already knew about the story that my grandad jumped ship and went AWOL.....no one knows how true that story is except my nan and im afraid any truth died with her.....i knew nan was married before and that the aunt mentioned here was only a half sibling to my dad and his other siblings.....i also knew about 2 of my cousins that were given up for adoption......one of which i have found the birth for....and im still looking for the other....maybe my cousin thinks she will lose her inheritance or something i dunno.......i would love to know what happened to my 2 cousins tho......are they still alive?.....did they marry?.....do i have more family out there than i thought?........did they have good lives?......i really hope so....my aunt never told me why she gave them up......she told me about her girls of her own free will.....i s'pose i thought if she had given me that much information she would eventually tell me why.....but she didnt......i could only imagine she had valid reasons for it.....i found my aunts first marriage......so i knew it wasn't a case of children being born out of wedlock b coz both children were born after my aunt married from wohat my aunt said......thats baxked up by the fact that the one i have found was born a year or so after my aunts marriage and is as far as i can tell.....her husbands child.........in the 1940's.....children born out of wedlock carried a stigma as we know
all of these skellies died with my nan and those family members concerned......so its hard for me trying to trace dads side coz theres no one to ask and they got to many secrets....they think im just digging for dirt.......im not of course......i just wanna know my roots......which im entitled to do......
my dad had 9 sisters.....and u'd think that would be a wealth of info.......but with 6 passed on (including my dad and the aunt mentioned, who was as open as she could be knowing what the rest of the family were like) and those still living thinking im 'causing trouble'......they are very hard to approach......
my nan always said she was born in 1900.....it turned out she was born in 1902....i sent for her birth cert.....juliejpt helped me find the entry for that.....i think julie also helped me to find nan's marriage entry to my grandad.....i sent for that cert to......my nan had lied about her age, her fathers name, and the fact she was a spinster when she married my grandad......i definitely have the right birth and marriage certs.....i have found out from the birth cert through entering those details on my tree.....that my nan had a sister and i have spoke to the sisters son......he said there was a brother as well as his mum spoke of brother....but we cant find him as yet......can u imagine how it feels knowing your aunts that r still living have cousins that they have no idea exist ...... and u cant say a word coz it'll upset the apple cart.....hmmmmmmmmmm one word 'frustrating'
 

benny1982

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#3
Hi

I think some people dont always get the full gist of the most obvious explanation or scenario. My success stories are 100% correct and the logics are totally unsinkable.

Some people cannot accept skeletons in theirs and other peoples family trees and make up stupid theories to try and win the argument but they do not succeed.

Ben
 
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#4
Hi,

I had always considered myself "not quite good enough" for my in-laws, until I started doing hubby's tree, and found out that my family's beginnings and theirs run parallel, both born into poor families! So at last, I am on an even footing! And it's all there in black and white!

Janey1
 

benny1982

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#5
Hi

At least that made you well in with your in laws.

Sometimes it may just be jealousy as you have solved a similar case in their trees that they haven't.

Ben
 

p.risboy

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#6
Hi All,
I suppose I am lucky not to have met a spoil sport. My problem is that the rest of my family, apart from one, is not really interested. I get really:) when I make a new find and can't wait to pass it on, only to find some level of apathy.
I wish I could find some skeletons, then they might be more interested. I suppose they could be seen as spoilers.
Oh well, must go and look for some skellies.

Steve.
 

benny1982

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#7
Hi

My great great grandmothers parents were having an affair while his wife wasd dying of TB in 1863. Nothing to be ashamed of as people did stray if their wives were ill.

Ben
 

benny1982

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#9
Hi

It is also known for parents of illegitimate children to run away after the birth and start a new life away from where they previously lived. They probably went to where there was relatives as people escaping scandals often fled to be nearer family to save face.

I wonder if my great, great gran ever found out. She lived to 1943 so she may have been in reciept of a pension. I am not too sure about what documentation she would have needed to prove her age when applying for a pension.

Her mum and dad moved away to stop her knowing the truth on how they met and he was still married.

Ben
 

p.risboy

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#10
Hi Ben
My Grt.Grandparents first child was iligitimate, but they stayed and got married a year later and added another 10 children, (had their own football team).
If the genes followed on to my father, and me, as to "what will people think". The answer would be "who cares".

Steve.
 

benny1982

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#11
Hi

Read my Thomas Roberts & Mary Ann Walder success story.

The illegitimacy is explained because the fathers wife had just died 6 weeks before.

Ben
 
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