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1. Diet starts tomorrow.
2. I'm on two diets, the first just doesn't give me enough to eat.
3. Serious dieting can be a problem, especially when you walk past a cake shop.
4. No one should be allowed to eat in front of me, unless they give me some as well.
5. I hate thin people.
6. Always eat fish on Fridays,.....as long as it comes with a big bag of chips.
7. If the human race is so superior, how come we have two hands and only one mouth.
8. Cake shops should never have a sale when I am on a diet.
9. Eating healthy food does not make you live longer, it JUST SEEMS LIKE IT.
10. My worst nightmare is waking up to find out the world has run out of chocolate.

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